Willys Wagon

Willys cynical thought for the day,

When you find yourself the victim of other people’s bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities, remember, things could be worse. You could be them!

Your career is interfering with your drinking.

You get so drunk Bud Light starts tasting like beer.

You read this magazine until you fall asleep, then use it as a blanket.

You heard you get drunker at higher altitudes so you always drink on top of the dumpster.

Your alarm clock is a garbage truck.

You’ve worked out a devious plot to steal Einstein’s brain. So you can drink the alcohol it’s stored in.

You masturbate to the liquor ads in Playboy.

You show up at the flu clinic to investigate rumors of "free shots."

You have a born-on date tattooed on your beer gut.

You hold a bottle of hair spray and say, "Man, if you were ice cold."

You’re addressed by three separate liquor store owners as "the guy who paid for my houseboat."

You often confuse the word breakfast with Bloody Mary’s, i.e., "What are we going to have for Bloody Mary’s this morning?"

You know that liquor is especially tasty when it comes from the secret hiding place in your roommate’s closet.

You can, in a pinch, construct a fully-operational keg tap from a cigarette lighter, two clothespins and lots of love.

You get in a heated conversation with your barstool neighbor about the proper way to vomit from a moving vehicle.

At 2am you proclaim, "The party ain’t over until the fat lady says no!"

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

From; From; WILLYS JOKES 2/9/06 You Know You’re a Drunkard When; Pt. 3 Final The best Jokes, online, bar (pun intended) none!

I can relate to the next to last one, though it didn’t end up in a heated argument.
One passenger was yelling " You’re gonna get us killed !!".
But I took the exit anyway, opened up the car door, and………..
well, you know !
I figured it was better than to continue driving down the highway ans hanging my head out the window !
( No one else in the car could drive a 5 speed !)
So, you’re from Wisconsin?
That would explain these jokes ! LOL !
Been there….there’s a bar on every corner !
I don’t know how anyone makes any money !
Keep ‘em coming !!!

Posted on July 9th, 2010 under willys truck. RSS 2.0 feed. Leave a response, or trackback.